Keith’s Birthday Invitation!


Dearest chum

You are cordially invited to ‘Keith’s Great Big ‘New Decade/End Of Denial’ 40th Birthday Bash on Friday 10th July at The 12 Bar Club, Holloway Road, London (including a set from The Penny Black Remedy).

The evening will be an epic triple celebration involving the following:

1. The irrefutable onset (and not remotely begrudged acceptance) of my fifth decade on this lovely big blue ball that most other people call Earth.

2. A celebration of the glorious rebirth of the legendary and very much loved 12 Bar Club at it’s spectacular new home on Holloway Road!!!!

3. And lastly, but not leastly, the evening will be The Penny Black Remedy’s first ever show at the new 12 Bar premises!!!! TPBR will be onstage from 10pm-11pm.

All in all it will be a cracking way to go kicking (and only slightly screaming) into my for… my fort…. my fortiĀ£@….Nope. Sorry, I can’t quite say it yet. The end of denial is nigh. I guess just not nigh enough at this stage in proceedings. Heed these words, though….by the time of the party, a new age of unfettered assent will have been reached by yours truly and shall be embraced with excitable, mostly metaphorical arms when the time comes.
I can’t bloomin’ wait!!!!!!

Please do come one and all. It will be an absolute pleasure and a huge honour to celebrate this event with my much loved friends and family. ie YOU!!!!!

Big, big love and copious amounts of whatever makes you most deliriously happy.

et al @ TPBR

* Yes…the onset of my fifth decade. I realise that this perhaps sounds a little bit melodramatic. But it is, as such, factually correct. Alas, it is widely known that factual melodrama is the worst kind of histrionic scribbling, so please accept my apologies forthwith. It could have been worse, though. My other choice of words was going to be; ‘celebrate the cessation of my fourth decade’, but it just kept sounding a little bit too much like ‘celebrate the cesspit of my forced decay’. Personally, I think I made the right choice. But you can decide for yourself which version is more appropriate on the night…one’s own discretion will be key…it’s also worth noting here that the inevitable plethora of pensioner-based puns, wizened word-play and generic geriatric jokes will all be very much welcomed, nay, positively encouraged. Prizes will be given on the night for the most mildly amusing jibes. See below for a simple formula I created which will help me judge the winning pun/jibe;

‘Mildy amusing’ = subjectivity.
‘Subjectivity’ = easily fudge-able results.

Ridiculous, but fair, I think. It’s also worth noting that I made that bit up about there being prizes. It goes without saying that my invitation to pun freely remains.